leadership development

Identifying your values: Time, money, energy

Values are what underpins a lot of our behaviour. Often, this is unconscious, so looking at what we actually do can help us identify what matters to us underneath.

So, let’s play detective. Let’s look at the patterns that drive what we do.

What do you spend your time on?

When you have a choice, that is. Look at holidays, weekends, things you schedule for yourself, things you can’t wait to do more of. What do these have in common? How do you spend your work week? What sort of activities do you love the most? What are you constantly trying to avoid or to get out of?

What do you spend your money on?

I am not talking basics like food, rent, transportation. Again, look for patterns in your decision making and for interesting outliers. Do you emphasize craftsmanship? Novelty or innovation? Comfort? Learning? Stimulation? High-tech? Exclusivity or brand image? Do you support others (people, causes) and what do they mean to you?

All of these are useful indicators what matters, and how you are already integrating this into your daily life. These are also levers you have to live your values out loud more.

It’s the little actions, the day-to-day decisions that often matter a lot more than the big swooping gesture. The little things are what build a life, a legacy over time. They are also immediately available to change. If you find there is a value that is a bit underserved, try finding ways to bake it into your life a bit more.

Let me know how this goes!

Check out the values worksheet here.
Or go deeper and get the book.
Or ping me about how coaching might help.

YES you may. What are you waiting for?

Should I, should I not… sometimes we balance on the edge of the fence, and we sway back and forth, and then we don’t make a move. And nothing happens.

What are you waiting for? Do you need permission? Who do you need permission from?

We sometimes want the assurance of somebody to tell us things are going to be fine. That we will get there. That we are doing the right thing. A parental omniscient figure with wisdom that is ahead of our own.

As we grow older and more experienced, that person gets rarer and rarer to find (here is a secret: most other so-called adults are also winging it to some degree or another). At some point, this role of the one giving permission is one we have to start adopting ourselves. As the owners of our own lives, we can give ourselves permission. To dream big, to dream at all, to plan and to do. To possibly fail and to try again because the dream is still there. Even if it is a small experiment that brings reality and dream closer together. You may. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is all there is and things won’t implement themselves.

(I am not advocating risky behavior or to breaking rules, procedures and things like that. Personal responsibility applies (that is the adult bit…) I am gently inviting you to challenge an assumption you might have that might hold you back from taking steps to make changes in your life. Coaching can also help with that.)

Today’s value: Care

Again, this is not a loud, heroic-sounding value. And yet so crucial for us humans living together. The small gesture. The tenderness felt (and often not even expressed, at least not explicitly). The nice thing done when nobody is watching. Just because it is the right, the nice thing to do.

When something or somebody is important to us, we want things to be well for them, we wonder how they are, and we want to make things better. And we feel their pain, and we want the pain to go away. We care for the light in their eyes as it if was our own, and we want to preserve it, or to help bring it back.

Acts of love, of selflessness. This by the way should also include care for ourselves, that is where it all starts.

What or who do you care about the most? What do you do for self-care? Is it easier for you to care, or to allow being cared for? How can you step out of your comfort zone a little and do more of what you don’t normally do?

Check out the values worksheet here.
Or go deeper and get the book.
Or ping me about how coaching might help.