On consequences

Cause and effect. Whatever you do, there will be consequences. Sorry if that is a bit of a turnoff, but it is how things are for adults that don’t have people constantly mopping up after them.

You are likely going to find once you start sticking your neck out, speaking up about values, culture, politics -whatever it is you care about, there will be reactions. Not all of them will be positive. And often, the reactions will say more about the people doing the reacting than they say about you. Still, they will land, and some of them might hurt.

Or, you might find you need to make changes in your surroundings. Leave that toxic relationship, that soulless job, that energy-sapping organizational culture. Again, not everyone will applaud. And that pay cut you took when changing industries is going to be real. Things will change. You might not “get your old life back”. And there are likely going to be things you won’t enjoy about that change. This is not a pick-and-mix.

And once the reshuffling slows down a bit and somewhat stabilizes in a new(ish) form, you might actually find you like it better, and that the trade-offs were worth it. Or that you will be successful beyond your wildest dreams with your new calling. Or that you don’t miss your former capitalist trappings one bit. Or some mix somewhere in between that feels a bit different each day depending on your general mood (this is how it plays out for most people).

Values and purpose can sustain you emotionally, making shifts, standing strong in something that feels more true, more like yourself. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, and there will be ups and downs. And while exploring your calling and making decisions that are true to your values might not automatically guarantee everlasting and ongoing happiness, NOT doing it is likely not going to lead to the same level of fulfillment. The struggle is worth it.

Also true: Everyone has that, whether they are doing this consciously or not. If you are not doing this consciously, taking those pauses to look inside yourself and then realign what needs realigning, you might find yourself slapped round the head with a formidable midlife crisis at some point. Don’t let people’s instagram feeds fool you. This is never smooth, this is never all roses and unicorns. This is your life. This is not a dress rehearsal. Live it like it matters. Because it does.


Want to go deeper? Ping me for coaching.
Check out the values worksheet here. 
Or get the whole book 🙂

Today’s value: Optimism

Optimism is closely related to trust, and it is more practical or applied than hope. It is grounded in you doing your part, and in others doing theirs. Your assumption something is going to turn out fine (or at least not a complete train wreck).

When you have a goal, something you want to be, to get, to experience, optimism makes it a lot easier and smoother to get there. A lot less fighting of things you have very little control over (like other people, the universe etc).

Optimism is also trusting your own capability to pivot, or to bounce back if things don’t work out exactly like you planned (for most key big innovative things or things that involve other people, they rarely work out as you planned. Often they work out far better).

Optimism does not mean being delusional or not doing due diligence as needed. But it means you don’t have to have the whole journey mapped out to do step one. You just need to know if the next step takes you closer where you want to get to, and then go that next step. And then the one after that.

What is one thing you can do today?

Check out the values worksheet here.
Or
go deeper and get the book.
Or
ping me about how coaching might help. 

Today’s value: Care

Again, this is not a loud, heroic-sounding value. And yet so crucial for us humans living together. The small gesture. The tenderness felt (and often not even expressed, at least not explicitly). The nice thing done when nobody is watching. Just because it is the right, the nice thing to do.

When something or somebody is important to us, we want things to be well for them, we wonder how they are, and we want to make things better. And we feel their pain, and we want the pain to go away. We care for the light in their eyes as it if was our own, and we want to preserve it, or to help bring it back.

Acts of love, of selflessness. This by the way should also include care for ourselves, that is where it all starts.

What or who do you care about the most? What do you do for self-care? Is it easier for you to care, or to allow being cared for? How can you step out of your comfort zone a little and do more of what you don’t normally do?

Check out the values worksheet here.
Or
go deeper and get the book.
Or
ping me about how coaching might help. 

Values and integrity

This is where stuff gets real. It is of course all nice on paper, but at some point, as you start living your values out loud they are going to be tested.

This is where the stuff happens that truly matters, and when you are going to have to take action to preserve what you are looking to create for yourself.

When you get hurt, it will hurt more and deeper as it will matter on a whole different level. This work will lead you to bigger questions and decisions and they might be disruptive in the short-term.

In the long-run (reminder: this is your life, this is the long run) you will be better off in an environment that embraces you for who and how you are and where your values flourish. The deeper you get into this, the more the bar will shift for what good leadership and a helpful organizational culture looks like. For yourself as your own ongoing practice, and for the people you want to surround yourself with.

Your planning horizon becomes more long-term. You will no longer get lukewarm reactions as people will either gravitate towards you, or you will exit each other’s orbits. That is not a bad thing. You both become more humble/compassionate and more fierce/radical at the same time, and in this tension discover strength and radiance second to none.

What have your experiences been with that so far? What helps you on your path?

 Check out the values worksheet here.
Or
go deeper and get the book.
Or
ping me about how coaching might help.