It’s crowded. We’re all here.

I’ve been reading lots of artist bios this year. Often – talent notwithstanding- it’s a thinly veiled story of privilege, with a metric ton of luck thrown in. A whole lot of those starving artists either had “real” jobs or careers to get them started in life, or came from families of influence enough to be able to go not just to Uni but to art school. To then be a starving artist in London with a multi-room flat AND a studio space.

That is not to detract from the beauty of their art, and from their achievements and the countless people they still inspire. It’s hard, it always is. Art (if done right) has a way of permeating your entire way of being, and society doesn’t always appreciate that, nor the outcomes this generates. And we only hear of those who got documented enough in a time where media access was reserved for the few, and where most people would have been too poor to afford having anything photographed (and any photographs would have been black and white), let alone filmed. Work gets lost over the decades, or doesn’t get stored properly and then gets damaged. And it’s hard to tell sometimes what that stack of watercolours in your distant auntie’s/uncle’s attic really merits as you get tasked with clearing out the house.

Now of course it is different.

I have a few 10Ks of pictures on my phone that sit “somewhere in the cloud”, and make videos on youtube because that is a part of one has to do these days. One of my previous careers was in journalism so in the olden days there would have been articles in a newspaper archive, and a few reels of what I did for radio (long time ago, different country, different language). Now there’s podcasts, blogs, online articles, books, a TEDx talk and all the other usual artefacts that come with trying to share and engage people around a topic or an artistic body of work, and to run a business.

And yes, the online world is crowded. That’s because we are all here.

I am here. You are here. So is everyone else with online access and a point to make or a thing to try. It’s crowded because we are all here.

In terms of access, that is a good thing. Let’s face it, 99% of us would not be here in a different time. And so many folks could be here and aren’t yet.

And you don’t have to go back to the 1920s. Where I grew up, girls (or people in a female-presenting body, nobody got those finer points back then) didn’t do A-levels. They stopped school at 16, did an apprenticeship so they would be employable in case of an emergency with the husband (no other options available there and then), then got married, had children and stayed at home.

There was a lot of pushback when I did A-levels and went to the school enabling that after the 4 years of primary school. I lost all of my friends, and my parents had to defend their support over and over again. It was the hardest, loneliest thing I ever did in my life. I was 10. It was brutal. Yet my A-levels will seem so banal to most people now in my urban knowledge-ish-economy surroundings that it barely registers.

If not for a lot of hard work, some support, people taking a chance with me, and plenty of luck, I wouldn’t be here. Not in this life, in this country, not in any career to speak of. I probably wouldn’t write (and certainly not in English), and I probably wouldn’t make art. I just got 5 paintings accepted into a poetry magazine in the US. My alternative self might have never known poetry magazines, nor would they have known me.

No matter how I feel about social media and specific platforms, I recognize the immense power of the internet to level the playing field. I had a part time job in a think tank~ish environment in the late 90s that predicted that, and – for me – it has come true. Chances are, depending on what your father did/does for a living and where you were born, most of you wouldn’t be where you are now either.

I was excited by those possibilities, I wanted to be a part of that. I had no relevant skills when starting out. Just grit. But I sensed that space was onto something and was moving enough and diverse enough that if I stuck around there’d be something in there. I was also too fat and not well-dressed/cool enough for a career in Marketing and too broke for Journalism; so I needed a plan B where someone like me had half a chance. In many rounds of my weird and wonderful portfolio over 20+ years, staying close to that tech space and its possibilities has kept me going (and for whoever needs to hear that: Yes, transferrable skills are a thing).

Yes, there are of course plenty of other factors at play here around expanding education in previous decades and different governments and countries have invested back in the day, and it has paid off for large parts of the population. We need more of that. Apprenticeships done well are the backbone of a healthy economy and society and a lot of countries now try and emulate the German model, so this isn’t against apprenticeships. I’m also aware not everyone wants to live in a city, and that in a lot of places there is now finally a bit more openness towards LGBTQ+ folks so people have more of a chance to be safe and thrive where they were born (and some of that is getting worse again).

And just because some of us have now made it “in” (whatever that “in” is), doesn’t mean access is open and equal and the work is far far far from done. We aren’t hearing all voices out there yet. This is a reminder that people start at very different starting points. It’s also for me a point of appreciation of my own journey. And – no matter how annoyed I might be at whatever just happened on whatever online platform or how annoyed I am with that tech thing I’m trying to make happen, and no matter how much I wish it was less crowded so it was easier to stand out and find the right folks, I’m glad to be here. I really am. I want everyone to have those opportunities.

On consequences

Cause and effect. Whatever you do, there will be consequences. Sorry if that is a bit of a turnoff, but it is how things are for adults that don’t have people constantly mopping up after them.

You are likely going to find once you start sticking your neck out, speaking up about values, culture, politics -whatever it is you care about, there will be reactions. Not all of them will be positive. And often, the reactions will say more about the people doing the reacting than they say about you. Still, they will land, and some of them might hurt.

Or, you might find you need to make changes in your surroundings. Leave that toxic relationship, that soulless job, that energy-sapping organizational culture. Again, not everyone will applaud. And that pay cut you took when changing industries is going to be real. Things will change. You might not “get your old life back”. And there are likely going to be things you won’t enjoy about that change. This is not a pick-and-mix.

And once the reshuffling slows down a bit and somewhat stabilizes in a new(ish) form, you might actually find you like it better, and that the trade-offs were worth it. Or that you will be successful beyond your wildest dreams with your new calling. Or that you don’t miss your former capitalist trappings one bit. Or some mix somewhere in between that feels a bit different each day depending on your general mood (this is how it plays out for most people).

Values and purpose can sustain you emotionally, making shifts, standing strong in something that feels more true, more like yourself. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, and there will be ups and downs. And while exploring your calling and making decisions that are true to your values might not automatically guarantee everlasting and ongoing happiness, NOT doing it is likely not going to lead to the same level of fulfillment. The struggle is worth it.

Also true: Everyone has that, whether they are doing this consciously or not. If you are not doing this consciously, taking those pauses to look inside yourself and then realign what needs realigning, you might find yourself slapped round the head with a formidable midlife crisis at some point. Don’t let people’s instagram feeds fool you. This is never smooth, this is never all roses and unicorns. This is your life. This is not a dress rehearsal. Live it like it matters. Because it does.


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Check out the values worksheet here. 
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Today’s value: Optimism

Optimism is closely related to trust, and it is more practical or applied than hope. It is grounded in you doing your part, and in others doing theirs. Your assumption something is going to turn out fine (or at least not a complete train wreck).

When you have a goal, something you want to be, to get, to experience, optimism makes it a lot easier and smoother to get there. A lot less fighting of things you have very little control over (like other people, the universe etc).

Optimism is also trusting your own capability to pivot, or to bounce back if things don’t work out exactly like you planned (for most key big innovative things or things that involve other people, they rarely work out as you planned. Often they work out far better).

Optimism does not mean being delusional or not doing due diligence as needed. But it means you don’t have to have the whole journey mapped out to do step one. You just need to know if the next step takes you closer where you want to get to, and then go that next step. And then the one after that.

What is one thing you can do today?

Check out the values worksheet here.
Or
go deeper and get the book.
Or
ping me about how coaching might help. 

Today’s value: Care

Again, this is not a loud, heroic-sounding value. And yet so crucial for us humans living together. The small gesture. The tenderness felt (and often not even expressed, at least not explicitly). The nice thing done when nobody is watching. Just because it is the right, the nice thing to do.

When something or somebody is important to us, we want things to be well for them, we wonder how they are, and we want to make things better. And we feel their pain, and we want the pain to go away. We care for the light in their eyes as it if was our own, and we want to preserve it, or to help bring it back.

Acts of love, of selflessness. This by the way should also include care for ourselves, that is where it all starts.

What or who do you care about the most? What do you do for self-care? Is it easier for you to care, or to allow being cared for? How can you step out of your comfort zone a little and do more of what you don’t normally do?

Check out the values worksheet here.
Or
go deeper and get the book.
Or
ping me about how coaching might help. 

Today’s value: Hope

“Help me, Obiwan Kenobi, you are my only hope.” (Princess Leia, Star Wars. Sending this practically into a galactic void, hoping to get heard. She did.)

I think hope is one of our most beautiful qualities as humans. Lifting your eyes up from the mess we might currently find ourselves in, ad looking at the horizon, the better future. With no proof or confirmation this will come, but with the hope that it might. That tomorrow is another day, that one decision can reset the path to a better future. That there are going to be people helping us along the way (OK, and droids, possibly).

What role does hope play for you? What helps you be hopeful? What were experiences when it worked? When it didn’t work?

Check out the values worksheet here.
Or
go deeper and get the book.
Or
ping me about how coaching might help.