personal growth – Lior Locher

On perfection (stop that)

When making changes, we often make the mistake of comparing our old established, well-rehearsed old life with something new we haven’t even built yet. It is completely unfair to expect that level of perfection. Unfair to the new thing, and unfair to ourselves as well. This is not how new things materialize. We get scared of the new thing not being perfect, sometimes before we even start. Perfection or bust.

Really? Ask yourself, is that really true? (assuming your “new thing” is not recreational neurosurgery or something along these lines)

Don’t let the quest for perfection prevent you from taking action. Stop gilding the lily and start getting your hands dirty.

Want to go deeper? Get in touch. The shop is open.

Today’s value: Hope

“Help me, Obiwan Kenobi, you are my only hope.” (Princess Leia, Star Wars. Sending this practically into a galactic void, hoping to get heard. She did.)

I think hope is one of our most beautiful qualities as humans. Lifting your eyes up from the mess we might currently find ourselves in, ad looking at the horizon, the better future. With no proof or confirmation this will come, but with the hope that it might. That tomorrow is another day, that one decision can reset the path to a better future. That there are going to be people helping us along the way (OK, and droids, possibly).

What role does hope play for you? What helps you be hopeful? What were experiences when it worked? When it didn’t work?

Check out the values worksheet here.
Or go deeper and get the book.
Or ping me about how coaching might help.

Today’s value: Simplicity

So many of you are brutally stressing themselves out – especially this season. The way we think things should be. The way we’ve always done it.

While I am a big fan of traditions, they can sometimes also be constraining, causing more stress (especially for the people who have to do the upkeep – often the mothers in a family).

Keeping things simple (or a bit simpler than they currently might be) can free up a lot of time and energy for what really matters to you. Is this about spending time with loved ones? About reconnecting with yourself? Is there a special quality you want to bring to the forefront? (being stressed out is probably not the one…)

How is what you have planned serving this quality, this goal? Are there other ways to achieve this outcome that are simpler, cheaper? Can other people pitch in (they might actually like this – I am not kidding)? Where do you need to set boundaries for yourself so you have a chance to enjoy things, too?

You might not want to upset the apple cart today of all days. But you might want to run a few “controlled experiments” at simplification. And then make this a planning item in how you want to set yourself up for the year to come…

Check out the values worksheet here.
Or go deeper and get the book.
Or ping me about how coaching might help.

Today’s value: Community

Humans are social beings (mostly…). Loneliness is considered to be a risk factor. Communities are key, to our well-being but also to our growth and unfolding. Being surrounded by others has many benefits.
• It connects us to a common cause, a time, a movement and often also a place.
• It refines our practice, personal, professional or hobby. Being with other practitioners elevates our craft, we learn, we teach, we share. Often without fully realizing.
• We get support. Often, just being able to share with others in a similar situation makes us feel a lot better, and we get some advice as well from people who have been there, done that.
• We are accountable. When we share our goals and make it public, we set ourselves up to be more likely to succeed. Groups of likeminded people can hold and drive this.
• It gets us out of our own head. We are of course the center of our own universe, but it does help to break through that to also engage with others, and get some perspective.

What does community represent for you? Which communities are you a part of? What is currently missing?

Check out the values worksheet here.
Or go deeper and get the book.
Or ping me about how coaching might help.

Today’s value: Enchantment

Do you believe in magic? At least a tiny little bit? If magic is a movie, enchantment is the everyday, snapshot version. Allowing yourself to be touched and transported a little. Opening the shutters of the mind and allowing something beautiful in to truly touch you and take you away on a bit of a journey to the what-if, reminding you that you are a physical, sensual being.

Our days are often so packed, rectangular and navy-blue, thread count and whatnot. Letting things get to you to actually touch you often feels risky. But when it is good, it whets your appetite for that journey momentarily hinted at. You long for these fragments of stories: Half-forgotten memories, the imaginary, the what-if. Taking the plunge to dive behind the waterfall to see what adventures await.

When this stirs in you, don’t swat it away immediately. Treat yourself to a bit of enchantment. T’is the season. Every season is, if you let it. And you get to keep that cheeky half-grin as you adjust your double-cuffs and snap back into your regular day.

What invites enchantment for you? What does it do for you? How can you build more space for this in your life?

Check out the values worksheet here.
Or go deeper and get the book.
Or ping me about how coaching might help.